I hope you have spent the festive period girding your loins for another year following the trials and tribulations of the Hoylake 1st XV circa 2025.
2015 opened at Ellesmere Port who, according to the pre-match chatter in the bar, have not lost a game all season. It was going to be a tough test and so it proved as most of the squad were absent, recovering from exposure having spent the previous day training at Sale Sharks and watching the game against Northampton afterwards in freezing conditions. The coaching staff were hoping the boys picked up a few tips from Cipriani and co…..
…the first game kicked off with Hoylake into the attack. However the Port defence was strong and it was clear our Under 9s were in for a tricky Sunday morning. Hoylake’s first few forays into Ellesmere Port territory were snaffled as they were forced into touch not just once but twice. Frustration oozed from Si and Kev like clear juices from a thoroughly cooked Christmas turkey. It didn’t take long for Ellesmere Port to register their first try, using their superior size and strength to good effect, helped along by Cipriani-esque Hoylake defence (give him a break he’s a fly half not a flanker, they’re not all like Johnny Wilkinson!). Rudi as usual though was keeping the Hoylake tackling from being non-existent but he couldn’t prevent Ellesmere Port extending their lead to three tries before Hoylake replied. And it was Archie who scored having collected the ball on half way and bustled his way through several tacklers to score a good try. Port scored their fourth not long after but by now the Hoylake attack was finding its feet. Some good handling from Charlie and Sam in the line eventually found George lurking with intent on the wing and he quickly set off at pace to beat the drifting defence to burst through the middle with a wonderful sidestep to score Hoylake’s second try. As the first half drew to a close it looked like Ellesmere Port would score a fifth but an amazing try-saving tackle from who else but Rudi ensured Hoylake went into half time 4-2 down.
A couple of changes at half time bolstered the Hoylake defence and the second half was much brighter. Greater teamwork and spirit was on show and Ellesmere Port struggled to find their way through. They did open the scoring in the second half but it took a number of attacks due to a combination of handling errors and determined Hoylake tackling before they managed it. A series of runs from Archie, Leon and John moved the ball up the pitch before a loose pass was dived on by Charlie like a terrier after a rabbit. After the referee confirmed it was okay to play on, Charlie whizzed the ball out to James who had enough space to get his trademark strong-running style in full flow and there was no stopping him! This seemed to spur Port on however and their tactic of “give it to the big kid” or “give it to the super-fast kid” was evident now. But Hoylake didn’t buckle and a heroic tackle from Jacob on Port’s Sherman tank stopped him in his tracks and he was finished off ruthlessly by George who between them stopped Ellesmere Port scoring another try. But it was the same story for Hoylake who continually met a solid wall of black, red and orange and were sadly unable to pierce it. Port did cross the line for a sixth try but it would be their last of the game because just as Port were bearing down on the Hoylake try line to score a seventh, Charlie popped up from nowhere to tackle the would-be scorer who dropped the ball as he fell on the try line!
So the first match ended up with Hoylake losing by 6 tries to 3 but a great second half effort by the boys ensured their opposition didn’t run away with the game as they threatened to do in the early stages.

Kev and Si had an easy job before the second game – “just play like you did in the second half of that game boys and you’ll be fine, you might even beat them!” was the clarion call. Unfortunately the strong cold wind must have blown the words away because the second game started much the better for Port than Hoylake. “The big lad” had the bit between his teeth and the Hoylake defence simply wasn’t up to stopping him despite the best attentions of Leon and George amongst others. In attack however, Jacob Red Hat was red hot, hungrily looking for work and taking the Hoylake cause right to the heart of Ellesmere Port’s under 9s. He was aided and abetted by Archie who was having a fine game too and it wasn’t long before his constant support play was rewarded with a try that would have done Manu Tuilagi proud! So that was Hoylake’s first and, as it happened, only try of the half. Meanwhile Ellesmere Port had run in six tries in all. Gulp!
The teams turned round for the second half and Hoylake started with real purpose after Kev had laid the law down. It certainly had the desired effect! Jacob once more was prominent and he found himself haring down the touchline before another strong Port tackle bundled him into touch with such force that his hat came off! Fortunately he retrieved it and after the magic sponge had done its work on the woollen item, Jacob’s hat was ready to continue. Relief all round. It was Ellesmere Port who scored next and to some of the shivering spectators it may have looked like a rout was on the cards but the travelling Hoylake faithful knew what was on the cards just by looking into the sugar-crazed eyes of the Hoylake under 9s. Some determined running and offloading in the tackle from Charlie, great support from Archie, Sam and John and direct running from George settled the supporters’ nerves. Strong tackling from Leon and James completed the picture. The result was another great try from James and a score from Archie that quietened down some of the vocal elements of the Port team. Time and again Ellesmere Port knocked on the Hoylake door which remained resolutely closed and in spectacular fashion on one occasion by James who prevented a try with a fabulous tackle that had the whole crowd clapping, not just the Hoylake fans. Ellesmere Port resorted for a while to some high tackling but it wasn’t enough as Hoylake were enjoying themselves now and slinging the ball around like the Barbarians sides of old. The final try of the day was made by tough-tackling Leon who found himself in the middle of the park with acres of space. Perhaps intimidated by the size of run that would be required to score, he skilfully drew in the opposing defenders and gave a pass that was a thing of rare beauty in its appearance and timing to set James off for a run that only ever had one conclusion.
As the clock ran down the result was not in doubt but with pride to play for Hoylake certainly didn’t disappoint. Another solid defensive wall by Hoylake stopped Port right on the try line and when Archie collected the ball from the free pass he burst through the first-up tacklers and from somewhere found the energy to scamper down the touchline with his hat-trick try in sight. Sadly for him and Hoylake he was hauled down inches short of the line and after another foiled Ellesmere Port attack the game was over. Ellesmere Port again victorious but by 7 tries to 4.
All in all the right results but with every game, the youngsters are starting to look like a rugby team and not a tag-rugby team. As their confidence in tackling grows it won’t be long before they’re beating the likes of Ellesmere Port who were terrific hosts.